Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I had run out of hope.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

‘The Boys’ Star Erin Moriarty Reveals Graves’ Disease Diagnosis - HuffPost

The sadness was still there.

Be who you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Why do trans people get so deeply offended when a stranger misgenders them, especially when it's a first encounter? I've been socially transitioned for 4 years and it just feels like a waste of energy to be so hurt by it.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Can you explain the difference between an ego, soul, mind, and consciousness?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

You are like me, then.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Did Obito ever fully redeem himself in everyone's eyes?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s still here.

Hackers take aim at Washington Post journalists in an apparent ‘targeted’ cyberattack - CNN

I was tired of fighting.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Can you share 100 facts about yourself?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

And the sadness?

I was tired of trying and failing.

This Common Herb May Hold the Key to Fighting Alzheimer’s, According to a New Study - Food & Wine

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

I feel so attached and in love with a dead celebrity. My love for anyone else is overshadowed by my love for him. What does this mean?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Gen X, millennials are about three times more likely than their parents to be diagnosed with appendix cancer, study finds - CNN

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.